Installment #52

Soooo… back on Match I went; third time’s a charm, right?

Two to three weeks go by and I find myself meeting up with Match#3 for an early evening drink – same story, different day. I parked my car and noticed him getting out of his, it was a sports car and I thought… Oh no, he’s going through a mid-life crisis or he’s a show-off. Funny how something so silly can implant an idea in your head so quickly. Well, turns out he was neither; he was just an average guy with a secure job, a house, and a dog. He was funny, cute, and very respectful. We agreed to meet a second time, he invited me to a cook-out. Turns out he was a pretty good cook, too! We went out a third time and then a fourth; and then we found ourselves spending lots of time together. Weeks turned into months and before you knew it those months turned into one whole year; and that’s when I moved in with him. But let me back up just a couple of months… His friends asked us to go on a cruise with them and he was having a hard time committing to it. THAT, of all things, gave me the willies and I started having second thoughts about the relationship. But, third time’s a charm, dammit! So, I pushed that red flag back down from wherever it was rearing its ugly head and told myself I was being nit-picky. Match#3 was drama-less, he had cool friends, awesome parents who really liked me… everything was really good, on paper. I had a yard sale and sold most of my belongings, said goodbye to my little, 2-bedroom rental and off to Rhinebeck, NY I went. I made his house my home; hung some curtains, painted every room in the house from construction white to some nice color, and turned one of the spare bedrooms into my eBay office. We had some great times together but, as most relationships typically do, things started to change once we were with one another 24/7. He grew somewhat distant and I started pining for my freedom and independence. I lived with Match#3 for about 6 months, he wasn’t happy about me moving out, but I knew in my heart of hearts it was the right choice for me. I had come to really like Rhinebeck, so I found an apartment there and went shopping to replace all of the things I needed to make a house a home again (furniture, housewares, kitchen stuff). I felt like an idiot, I scolded myself for “rushing into things”, and I reprimanded myself for not “listening to my gut”; had I not learned anything from the previous two Matches. But then I realized that these were just lessons I needed to learn for one reason or another, and that it was all just a part of my greater journey. I actually “moved up” in life, said goodbye to some things that were holding me back and opened the door to many wonderful improvements, including meeting many new amazing friends that have become like family to me. For all of this I am grateful and blessed.

Lessons: Pay attention to your gut feelings; no matter how good something looks (on paper), if it doesn’t feel right you should probably walk away. Starting over is a privilege, not a failure. Third time IS a charm when you look at it through a different lens.

That’s all folks. Back to everyday, ordinary, mundane life stuff in next week’s installment.



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